funnyordie
funnyordie:

The Full List of Rules for Taking Care of Gizmo from ‘Gremlins’
Everyone knows the first three. But 30 years later, we finally have the full list. Better late than never.

Don’t feed him after midnight.
Don’t get him wet.
Don’t expose him to sunlight.
Don’t bring up Reaganomics if you know what’s good for you.
Don’t overtip while he’s watching.
Don’t sing ‘Ridin’ Dirty’ around him.
If he asks, the Oklahoma Thunder are still the Seattle Supersonics.
Don’t correct him when he calls a computer a “typescreen.”
Don’t make fun of his tiny, furry penis.
If he asks you to describe a recent sexual encounter, don’t use the word “poon-daddy.”
Don’t poke his butt.
Don’t tickle him when he has to take a shit.
Always let him win if you’re playing chess.
If he’s humping a teddy bear, let him finish.

Read the rest here.

Priceless

funnyordie:

The Full List of Rules for Taking Care of Gizmo from ‘Gremlins’

Everyone knows the first three. But 30 years later, we finally have the full list. Better late than never.

  • Don’t feed him after midnight.
  • Don’t get him wet.
  • Don’t expose him to sunlight.
  • Don’t bring up Reaganomics if you know what’s good for you.
  • Don’t overtip while he’s watching.
  • Don’t sing ‘Ridin’ Dirty’ around him.
  • If he asks, the Oklahoma Thunder are still the Seattle Supersonics.
  • Don’t correct him when he calls a computer a “typescreen.”
  • Don’t make fun of his tiny, furry penis.
  • If he asks you to describe a recent sexual encounter, don’t use the word “poon-daddy.”
  • Don’t poke his butt.
  • Don’t tickle him when he has to take a shit.
  • Always let him win if you’re playing chess.
  • If he’s humping a teddy bear, let him finish.

Read the rest here.

Priceless

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